Words to share

PREVAIL

My struggles may not look like yours, but they still exist. A good day to me might be a bad day to you. Your worst day might look like my best day. A good day today can be a bad day tomorrow. The story always seems to come full circle and I always seem to find myself in the same position as before. No matter how good or bad, I can always find a moment where I am sitting alone in my room reflecting on what my life has been up to this point. 

I'm a believer in human excellency. I trust in myself that everything I do pushes the boundaries of what is possible in my life. Taking those little actions day in and day out to better myself will pay off in the long run. In a world of instant gratification, I am trying my best to get back to the things that make me feel whole. I cherish the value of hard work, but I am the first to admit I've been running away from that very simple concept. Doing the easy things is just that; easy. There is no value in taking shortcuts, and I always find that it comes back to bite me.

New year, new me? Nope. I'm the same person I've always been. May this year be the year I truly take care of myself. This year I will find out who I am. This year I will find out what really gets my gears turning. I will put forth effort to make the changes I want to make in my life. I will prevail.

Going right where I went wrong

I get the pleasure to live a really good life. It's had hardship and good times. I haven't always been right, in fact I am often wrong. I've done wrong, I've acted wrong, and I've been a loser. I seek to grow where I went wrong. Any time I've been wrong, I seek to make it right. While there will always be instances of not being in the right, I'll do whatever I can to make it right. I need to be more mindful of my actions. I need to live in a way where I will never have regrets. I preach about spreading love and kindness but I don't always do it. I have to act with consideration for those around me and those who matter to me. I haven't always done that, and it doesn't feel good at all. I want to be proud of who I am. Sometimes I am not. That is not who I want to be. I know who I want to be, but I'm not quite there yet. It's a slow and drawn out process but I'll get there. One day I'll be proud of who I am. I'm still figuring it out and I want to remind myself it doesn't happen overnight. I wish I could give myself a hug. I need to hug my mom. I need to tell the people I love that I love them. I'm going to disappear into the mountains and figure it out. I haven't been in a place that feels like home since I left home. I won't get too attached to the idea that the mountains are my home. However I will be open to receive a new home and a new life if it feels right.

What IS my purpose?

My purpose is fluid. It changes situationally, but there is always one thing that is constant. Kindness. Being kind to strangers, to friends, and to family. In my time at Purdue I have come to learn that a little bit of kindness goes a long way. For the people I'm kind to, it can brighten their day just a little bit. For myself, being kind feels good.

As I approach any situation in my life, I make myself stop and think about the impact I can have on whoever I'm with. Coping with the realities of being an adult, I've come to understand that "Who I Am" is something that I get to decide. Who I am to myself is as big a part of my life as who I am to others. I try to not get caught up in what others think of me, but it is something I care about. I believe that I can influence others in a positive way. I want to empower others to do what they love, on their own terms. To me, it is ridiculous if you aren't pursuing your passions and doing what you want to do. For anyone and everyone,  it is a lot more complex than just "doing what you want to". In my pursuit of passion, I've run into financial burdens, time conflicts, bailing on plans last minute, etc...

When I face these barriers or disappoint people in my life, I feel like garbage. When I face a blockade in my path, I find a way to hurdle it. I've worked hard and been very lucky. Emphasis on the lucky. I have ample opportunities to succeed and pursue what empowers me because of the life I was preciously gifted. My parents worked hard. Out of high school, they went into the workforce and never stopped. They worked their asses off to give me the life I have and I couldn't be more thankful. I have never had to wonder where my next meal is coming from, if I will be able to go to school, or worry about my financial safety. I know my parents got my back at all times. Having this safety net has allowed me to step outside of my comfort zone and find what really makes my gears turn.

Life hits fast. Life hits hard. When it gets you down, it'll hit you again and again and again. It never lets up. It never slows down. This is the fact of life. I used to be scared and intimidated by this fact. Now, not so much. Life never slows down for ANYONE, so why would I let it stop me? Learning about this made me feels lots of emotions; doubt, anger, fear, excitement, and fascination. This continual flow of time that we call life is so fragile yet so strong. Our life is truly what we make of it, and I refuse to live in a way that doesn't agree with my dreams. This life is something I have embraced and run with. I feel more purposeful than ever, my drive is back, and I want to succeed in every single thing I do.

So, my purpose? My purpose is to be someone others can look to for anything. I want to be a motivator for people. I want to be a friend to all. I want to leave a path of kindness and love with every step I take. I want to be someone's motivation to pursue their best life. I don't want any of this because I want the glory and fame that comes with being in the spotlight. I want to do all of these things because I truly believe everyone can better their lives at every moment. With every action you take, you leave an effect on people. I want to be the reason people spread kindness and love to everyone they meet. I'm tired of hate, resentment, and bitterness in the world. Not everyone feels the same way and that's okay. Those are people I don't want to be around. If people are willing and wanting to change their lives for the better, then I'll be damned if I can't do my part in helping them find their purpose.

I try to live these words daily. It doesn't always happen. I have good days, bad days, and everything in between. I'm human, and I understand that not everything is always sunshine and rainbows. My pursuit of purpose and fulfillment is an ever-evolving and fluid challenge. I struggle, I fight, and I work to better myself every single day. If you read all of this, I hope you find it in you to push the boundaries of what you think you can do. Find your purpose, find what you love, and become the very best at it.

Stay good. Spread the love.